00:00
I can talk to you about it. I can be theoretical about it. I can, all the things, we can read all the books, we can watch all the videos, we can put until you get on that bike and you do that. And until you like fall a few times and then learn from that failure, the thing that you're looking to learn on't happen. So if you wanna learn how to pitch, the best way to learn how to sell yourself is by selling.
00:40
So today's episode is a recording of a coaching call between me and Crystal Winstead. Crystal is a former makeup artist and fashion stylist.
And now she uses all of her experience in the beauty, fashion, and marketing industries to support companies with their diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives. One of the goals that I have for the ownership game is to normalize the struggle, to normalize the challenges that happen on your way to achieve success. I think that we're really obsessed with the Instagram effect, right?
The last chapter of the book, the last scene of the movie, you know, when the heroes walk off into the sunset holding hands. But that's not really how success happens. Success is not linear like that. It's messy. There's ups and downs. There's sideways. There's a lot of stuff that happens in between.
And I want to make sure that people have access to that and that gets normalized and that we're not just obsessed with how to make things flashy, shiny and looking good. So I'm definitely gonna bring you success stories and we're gonna talk about the success stories. But I also want to show you people who are at work. I wanna show you people that are at work at developing their craft, cleaning up their mess, dealing with their mess and really doing the work of getting an ownership of their future.
So I'm really grateful to Crystal for opening up herself, for opening up her life, and for allowing us to see what she's working on and what she's dealing with. It's a really, I think, beautiful conversation that a lot of people are going to learn a lot from. And if anyone is listening and you'd like to participate in one of these on-the-air coaching calls please reach out to us at hello at garymontalvo.com. Thanks.
03:13
Crystal. Hi, Gary. Thank you so much for being with us today. So we're here to work on your business. Yeah. Right, so why don't you start by telling us, tell us a little bit about yourself and this business that you're launching and what the vision behind it is and what you want to do.
Okay, sure. And thank you for taking this time with me, because living inside of my mind can be like an echo chamber. So, okay. A little bit about myself. Well, I've kind of known a great majority of my life that I wanted to work for myself. However, I've never really had the courage to jump all the way out there.
freelancing, I've done that, but it was still kind of connected to a company. And because I have like such an unorthodox background and experience in my career, it's really given me more of a hard time now as I launch into my own business. So, um, my background, it entails me being a makeup artist, also a fashion stylist, and.
I have done some leadership coaching, but that was purely volunteer. And I ended up in the last company that I worked for as an employee, creating a role for myself as a diversity equity and inclusion manager. Came out of nowhere. It was very organic. And I pitched the role, I got it. And this is where I really found my groove. And I was like, yeah, you know what? This is my work.
Inadvertently, I didn't know that it would look like this, but I've always kind of been conscious of what diversity looks like and inclusion looks like and all of this stuff, I just never had a term for it. So me finding my groove in this company and then being able to have a contract at Google to also do the same work, but now in a marketing space, I, as that contract ended, I said, you know what?
05:30
Let's see what I can do for myself with the same expertise as a business. So I have done all the things to legitimize my business, meaning I have my LLC, the EIN, I have the website, I have all the Instagrams, all the socials and all the little structural things, business plan, I got that. Now I feel like, okay, that's set up. Now what?
In my brain, one of the first issues was like, okay, well, what comes next? What is the sequence of how to create a business and make it sustainable? And so in my brain, I'm thinking, all right, the next step is to clearly just let people know what you're doing and pitch it and promote it. However, I have been stuck on stupid for the longest time. I am fearful of promoting my business. And the other thing is like, I don't even know how to really articulate it. So that's where I am now. Yeah.
I totally get that. And the first thing I wanna just tell you is you're not alone. You're not, cause I think when we were in this place, one of the things that can often happen is we start to kind of get embarrassed and kind of fearful and ashamed like, oh, why am I struggling with this? Why is it such a, why should I just be, I know that I should, cause there's a list of things that you should be doing. Right. Right, like it's like.
If we get real, like there's a list, there's at least five, six things that you should be doing that you're not doing, right? But it's so, which makes it worse, right? You're like, ah, you're really not alone. And this is something that I find every entrepreneur, unless they have some kind of sales experience, this is what they deal with. You, you, cause when you think about how we get into entrepreneurship, it's not, most of us have a passion. We have a skillset.
07:39
And that's why we start a business because we, for me, I love coaching. I love working with people and then I get in the business, but then I got to learn how to market, I got to learn how to do finance, I got to learn how to do operations, I got to learn how to end the most confronting thing for us is this part, is the sales part, is the talking about what we do, is the pitching, what we do, that's when all of our stuff comes up, right? That's when all of our, am I good enough?
What are they going to say? What are they going to think? What are they, who am I to walk into this room and say that? So I totally, totally get this. And you're not alone. I'm sure everyone who's listening can go, yep, I, I 100% get that. So that's the first thing I want you to just like understand is that this is very common, it's very, very normal. And you're not like special in that way.
Right, like there's nothing wrong with you. It's not, does that make sense to get that? Yeah, I have to tell myself that, but yes, like it makes sense. You're working on receiving that. Okay, so yeah, you just, the first thing I want you to get is I want you to start telling me every day, every day, that this is, because think about it, Crystal, if-
Imagine if you were mentoring a young woman who's learning anything. I mean, let's talk about makeup because you know that and you know that world and you grew up in that world, right? Yeah. Woman is learning how to do makeup. She's like, oh, I'm not doing it right. I'm like, oh, I'm scared.
What would you be telling her?
09:22
First, to not judge herself, to calm down, and take one step at a time. And eventually, as she continues to practice, then it would become second nature.
Yeah, yeah, and you'd be having all the grace in the world, right, you would be making sure that she's given herself grace, and that, and you'd be really, and the thing that you, the thing that came through in what you shared is that.
When you're learning something, it's step by step. You break it down step by step. When you take actions and you take actions daily. So the first thing that you wanna deal with is that you're not being with yourself that way. I'm definitely not. Yeah, and so that's your first job. Before we can talk about the business and the strategies, that's your first job.
You really have to take on that context for yourself and that practice for yourself. And something like daily journaling in this way would probably help. Ask yourself journaling prompts that would support you with this. How can I show grace to myself today?
What are all the ways, how can I love myself today? How do I wanna be treated in a loving way today? And just ask yourself questions that will put you in that frame of mind. Because until you allow yourself to do this, it's just always gonna be a weight on your ankle when you're trying to run. And check it out, here's the thing. You're about to step into something completely new.
11:23
You don't know how to do this. And it's new. So when something's new, it needs creativity. It needs flow. It needs play, right? And Crystal, here's the thing. Like I know you, like that is an essence of who you are. Like that is when you're best, when you're playing, you're a playful person. You like to dance. You like to be in the groove of life. You like to be in the pocket.
So when you're not being that, it's just weird, right? It just doesn't, I'm the same way. If I'm not in my authenticity, if I'm not freed up, it just like, something locks in and it just stops flowing and we're not jamming and it becomes hard and it becomes. So it's really important that you do this work and maintain this, not just because, oh, love yourself.
Namaste, not just because of woo stuff, but also because it's really a necessary condition of what you're trying to accomplish. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like it's a necessary condition of trying to birth something. So that's your first homework assignment, okay?
Now, so the other part of this that I'm going to say is, the part that you're trying to get to doesn't really come until you get in the skinny branches. You can't learn how to pitch. I know, I know. And I wish that I could skip this. I wish that I could make it easier. I would be so rich. If I could give you a pill that would bypass this part, I would be so rich. But I cannot teach you how to ride a bike until you get in the bike.
Yeah, right. I can't. I can talk to you about it. I can be theoretical about it. I can, you know, all the things we can read all the books, we can watch all the videos we can, you know, but until you get on that bike, and you do that, and until you like fall a few times, and then learn from that failure, the thing that you're looking to learn won't happen. So,
13:45
If you want to learn how to pitch, the best way to learn how to sell yourself is by selling. It's by selling. And yes, you will be, it'll be like, ugh, right? It'll feel weird. It'll feel yucky. It'll feel hard. It'll feel like all the things and you're gonna mess it up so bad. You're gonna mess it up.
And you're going to go, oh my God. And then you're going to implement what you learn to the next time. OK, but there is no way. So the first thing that the next thing is, you it's like. Your instinct to protect yourself here is holding you back.
Yeah. The instinct is holding you back and it's time to be willing to do that work. And here's the thing, you can control how you do it. You can, there's conditions and things and I'm gonna give you some tips for how to do it so that it doesn't feel as, but there's no substitute for that. Does that make sense? Yeah. I know, I know. So, okay, so I'm gonna give you some tips.
Okay. So in order to break through something, you need consistent pressure. If you only put pressure in like every month or every two or three months, there isn't sufficient pressure building up to break through. Does that make sense? So you've got to.
15:41
If I'm trying to, let's say I'm trying to, do that and trying to push this hand. If I just come every few months and I go like this, I'm not gonna break through. But if I come and every day I'm applying consistent pressure, I'm applying consistent pressure, at some point that pressure will build and momentum gets created, okay?
What's probably happening or what tends to happen is we end up having like a sales conversation every two or three months when the opportunity arises. Yes. If you wanna break through that and build that muscle, you gotta create a condition where you're having a sales conversation every day, every week. Okay. Because the learning won't happen. If I only get on a bike every three months for five minutes, I won't learn how to ride a bike. But if I get on a bike every day eventually I'll learn how to ride a bike. Does that make sense? It does.
So you've got to create a condition where you're just reaching out, where you're talking to somebody every day, where you're taking some kind of action every day. Okay. Every day, every day, every day, every day. Now it can look different. It can be introducing yourself to somebody on LinkedIn. It could be reaching out to somebody and asking for referrals. It could be following up with someone.
It could be sending a warm email to somebody that you want to meet, but taking some kind of action every day, regardless of being ready, regardless of... So that's the first thing I want you to kind of get in the headspace on. What are the actions that I can take every day? Okay. Now, there are some things that you can do to help build your confidence in taking these actions.
Okay, number one, create your, they call it an elevator pitch, right? But create your script for how you introduce yourself.
17:58
Okay, now this is more than a marketing ploy. Like it's more than just like how you get people to pay attention to what you do not knowing how to, if you don't know how to introduce yourself from the go, if you're weird about what you're going to say, well, you're starting off weird from the beginning. Like that, that conversation is going to go off the rails from go. Okay. But if you have three or four sentences crafted together that explain what you do and you practice them and you know how to deliver it, like literally, I would get in front of a mirror and practice it and memorize, don't have it be complicated, don't have it be something simple. Here are the four things. I'm Crystal Winstead, and I work with organizations that are out to empower their employees and helping create diversity and equity and creating a community that works for everyone. Simple, right?
Get that done. I cannot tell you how much more confidence you will have, Crystal, if you just resolve that.
19:19
Does that land? Yeah, it does. She's over there taking notes like crazy. For those of you listening, she is feverishly taking notes. I am. The folks watching on YouTube will know what's happening, but the folks listening are like, is she okay? My bad. And I don't want to interrupt. It's like, I love to just listen, right?
Yeah, I get it. No worries. But that makes sense, right? That, yeah. So really practice how you're going to introduce yourself. Get it down, get it, get it, and stay in front of a mirror so many times. So that's number one. Similarly to that, you can work your way up to scripting out your entire pitch. Like here, you can do a point where you create a little deck and you read the deck. Like people who do this.
They don't just go in blind and they craft what they're gonna say and then they create a little script and then they do it. You can work your way up to that. You may not even know how to start off with that, but very often just doing that work increases your confidence so much. So, okay.
The other piece of advice that I can give you, this one may be a little controversial for people, but be honest. Just be honest. Be like, hey, I'm starting out. I'm starting my business. I'm new at this. I'm really passionate about the subject matter and I have a lot of value to give, but I don't have all my offerings worked out yet. I don't know. I don't, I don't, yeah. And I find, cause here's what happens. A lot of us try to hide that stuff.
A lot of us try to hide that stuff. And when we're hiding it, especially for someone like you, who authenticity is one of your key values. And I know Crystal, so I know this about her. So authenticity is a high value for you. So when you're walking into the conversation, already hiding something, already feeling like you're going, like you have to pretend that you're something other than you're not.
21:48
It's going to immediately mess with your head, Crystal. It's going to immediately mess with your head. Yeah, you get that, right? Yeah, I mean this right here? The biggest piece of advice I can give, yeah. Mm. Yeah. I'm sorry, I just had to interrupt. No, go ahead, go ahead. Because like.
Amongst the challenges that I wrote down to speak about today, imposter syndrome is one of them. Yeah. And so you have answered that question for me because I am thinking I'm supposed to be so a certain way when I'm approaching people as a businesswoman, I have this image that I'm supposed to be something that I'm not yet, right?
I can, I feel great that I can breathe and actually rest in my authenticity. Of course, I don't have to tell them everything, my social and all that good stuff, but like to be transparent about where I am, it just, you just gave me life and gave me air in my lungs. Yeah. And listen, a lot of people, a lot, listen, some people are going to want someone with 20 years of experience, and they may not be ready to invest in a newcomer. And that's okay. And a lot of people are gonna say, oh, I wanna give Crystal a shot.
Like a lot of people are gonna go, you know what, I started what, I'm an entrepreneur too, I love that. Or some companies are gonna be, their culture is more informal and more related. And so that, having someone with that sensibility is much more appropriate of a hire. When I started to, one of the biggest moments for me when I first started, so I used to, when I started public speaking, I would get really nervous and I would start sweating. And I mean, sweating, like sweating, and I don't have any hair, so the sweat is just dripping.
24:09
down my forehead and like literally puddles on the floor like it would be on the floor and I was like I was pretending that I had to be all professional so I would wear suits yeah and it made it worse so now I'm sweating and then I'm sitting there trying to pretend that I'm not sweating up a storm
24:37
Like, and people would get uncomfortable and like bring me towels because they started to get worried about me. Like, are you okay? And it was awful. It was awful and it was so weird. And then one day I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna tell people I'm nervous. I'm just gonna tell people that I'm nervous and I'm gonna let them know that I'm gonna start to sweat. And that's what happened. And...
A lot of public speaking coaches would tell you, do not do that. No. And I mean, the culture has changed a lot now too. There's a lot of authenticity is valued more now than back in 20 years ago. Yeah. But I started to, I would say I started walking up in front of the room and I started saying, hi, my name is Gary Montalvo and I am really nervous right now. And I'm probably going to start sweating.
So I have this towel and I took a page out of Luther Vandross and I will go up on stage with my towel and I would just start patting my head down when it was time. And the moment I did that, I was free. Yes. The moment I did that, I was free. And I wasn't trying to hide, I wasn't trying to pretend. And I stopped sweating because I was now free instead of me trying to hide this thing.
And then the other thing that happened, which was a surprise that I discovered, immediately I had the room. The room immediately connected with me because who couldn't relate to being nervous and who couldn't relate to being nervous in front of a room? Immediately, like sometimes people would go, oh no, Gary, give it up for Gary. And they would start clapping sometimes. They would just start encouraging me.
But immediately they were all rooting for me. Yeah. And I also modeled what authentic leadership looks like. So it was a huge lesson for me and I often coach on it. Don't try to pretend that you're anything other than where you're not. And you can be honest with me, you can be honest with people and say, listen, I don't know what my offering is, but if you tell me what you think you might be looking for.
27:00
I'll create something for you that fits your needs, right? Or, or listen, I'm testing out this offer. And that's real for me. Like that's real. Yeah, yeah. Or, hey, I'm testing out this offer to see if people resonate with it. So if this is something that you think will be beneficial for you, then great, we can keep talking. But if this is not the right offer for you and you think there's something else.
might be more beneficial for your group, then let me know because I'm happy to workshop that with you. Right, I'm happy to talk. So, it demonstrates a couple of things. Number one, it frees you up to have a conversation and stop pretending like something. Number two, it really demonstrates that you're a partner.
And Crystal, in your line of work, I think this is gold because when people start talking about diversity, equity, and inclusion. There's a lot of feelings, a lot of fear, especially for white people, Caucasian people, as they dive into these conversations, this is scary for them to talk about. There's a lot of like, so them knowing that you're coming in as a partner, authentic, not judging, that we're gonna work this out together, we're gonna create the progress, the program for your group that fits your group, that I'm going to meet you where you're at and that you're going to meet me where I'm at, that right there is gold. That right there is gold. So I think that this type of approach actually helps you in the end. Yes, I agree. And that was actually one of the things I wrote down. I said, meet myself where I am. The authenticity is that for me.
29:03
So I'm not going in as this person I think I'm supposed to be. And then like you said, it's a win-win because it models that I'm meeting them where they are as well. And that's the beautiful symbiotic relationship that I want to create. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. 100%. Wow. Okay. So get practice how you're going to introduce yourself. Yeah. Create.
your offer and your pitch so that you know what you're going to talk about and practice that as well. Yes. Authenticity. Yes. Just be yourself and try that. And then you just got to get out in the court and practice every day. And Crystal, if you want to practice, if you want to warm up, you can say, “Hey, Gary, I'm practicing my pitch. Can I talk to you? Can I practice on you?”
Don't be afraid to mock. Mocking is a great way to practice making a pitch, to practice a sales conversation. Okay. That was a big breakthrough for me as well. I had this expectation. There was a point where I was like.
Why do I have this expectation that I should just know how to sell? Right. Like, I'm judging myself and I'm beating myself up and I'm feeling bad and I'm feeling ashamed for which basically all points to that I should know how to do this. Why should I know how to do this?
30:56
Why should I, where in life would I have gotten this experience? Like, this wasn't part of the high school, this wasn't part of my family table conversations. Like, we have to learn how to do this. And the thing that really got me was, I looked at myself, I said, okay, at that point, I was like, okay, I'm pretty confident about my coaching skills.
I was like, I feel like I can honestly say that I'm a pretty good coach. How long did it take you to be a good coach? Like how long have I been training to do this? And it had been years. It had been, I think at that point I had at least six years of experience. And then the other question that I asked myself was, well, how were you about learning to be a coach?
And when I discovered coaching, I was like, oh yeah, yes. I started taking in information. I started, but I would be so coachable. I would take the information and I would go back and implement it. And I would mess it up. And then I would go back and go, okay, that didn't work. You know, what now? And it's like, okay, I was just like, oh, they do it like this. Okay, let me bring that. Oh no, that doesn't work for me. I'm gonna leave that out, but I'm gonna bring this in.
I really took on this mindset of learning. And I took on this mindset of, I wanna be good at this. Like, I really wanna be good at this. Being good at this really matters to me. And it opened me up to be curious. It opened me up to be open, and to be in a state of making mistakes and trying it on. Right?
Yes. Why, why do I think that I'm going to be good at sales without doing the same thing? So the moment I got that, I had a total different mindset about selling and I started to be open and gracious. I started to go, Oh, how do you do that? Okay. Let me do that in my next conversation. Oh, that didn't go well. Okay. Let me try that again. Okay. Let me, I would go to my coach and say, okay, I totally messed that up.
33:25
I think, or I would go and say, okay, I got stuck here. This is what I said. This is what they said. This is what I said. This is what they said. Now what? And they go, oh, here, try this. I'm like, okay. Then I went back to the conversation and go, hey, I just had another thought. When you said this, I just had a thought. We really could talk about this. And I took on that type of mindset.
And then all of a sudden I started having more flow and I started to really develop space to learn how to pitch and learn how to sell. Okay. So take on a mindset of learning and take up a mindset of, it's okay that I don't know this. And when I'm learning something, I'm gonna mess up. When I'm learning something, I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna not know what I'm saying.
I'm gonna know, I'm gonna, I mean, I don't know. I'd be like, listen, you might even go, listen, I'm learning how to sell, but I'm not learning diversity in equity inclusion. Like, that's my life, I live that. Like, in that world, you're good, you can count on me. I may mess up this pitch, but I got you there. I got you there.
Yeah, and just have fun with it. Like you, it's such a part of who you are. They honestly, it'd be weird. Like if you just shut up on a call and you're not having fun with me, I'd be like, what's up? Like what? But practice, practice like pitch, get people to, and you might even go as you're networking, you might even meet somebody in a company and go in your meeting and you go, hey, can I practice my pitch on you?
Can you like even, it's okay if you don't, if it's okay if you're not even interested or if you're not in a position to hire, I would love to practice my pitch on you if you can give me some feedback. A lot of times what happens is people will give you great feedback. They may not be in a hiring position.
35:47
They may not be, but more often than not, they might give you interesting feedback. And sometimes they'll even go, you know what? Let me introduce you to somebody. You should talk to, you should talk to this person. And little by little, you start meeting people and meeting people, and then all of a sudden, one of those connections will pay off. I, that's how I got, that's how I ended up working at the New York Times, working at MasterCard. It wasn't even a direct connection. I never had luck getting dialing the front door.
Like to me, getting, like picking up and calling up the New York Times and saying, Hey, are you looking for a trainer in diversity, equity, and inclusion? Or at the time for me, it was like leadership coaching, but I met somebody who met somebody who came to a networking event and then they were able to get me in the door, not through HR.
but through a manager who was looking for someone to do some work in there. So that was able to bypass the whole front door because of that. So it's time to get out there and start networking. It's my last pitch. It's my last, then I'm gonna get off my horse. Probably not, but it's time to get out there and start networking. And I'll be really honest with you. It's gonna probably suck a little bit.
Okay. When I started networking, it was the equivalent of poking my eyes out with hot pokes. Like I, it was, well, maybe it'll be easier for you with the coaching that you that I'm giving you. Right. But when I started networking, I was at the very beginning of all of this. And I really felt like a fraud walking into these rooms. Yeah.
And I felt like I had to pretend. So all these lessons that I'm giving you right now came after that. So if you implement the lessons, maybe walking in will not be hard. But I will tell you, here's why I think you really have to start networking. Number one is you're practicing your pitch. You're practicing your introduction.
38:05
It took me a year to like be able to walk into these rooms and introduce myself without wanting to throw up. I wanna throw up thinking about it right now. Yeah, it took me a year to develop that muscle and develop that practice. But if you're not doing it, you're not gonna develop that muscle. So for that alone, so for that alone, it's invaluable.
Even if you get no business out of it, just you walking into the room and learning how to push through the awkwardness and introduce yourself and talk to people. It's invaluable. And you might make some friends, you might make some connections, you might make some colleagues where there's some synergy, that may come.
But for no other reason than just the practice of putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations, I really, really would take that on. Now, networking, I will give you a tip. Here is the best thing that I did when I started networking is, I just became a connector in the room. Like I became the person that I go, hey, Crystal, tell me what you do. Oh, okay. And then I'd be talking to John over there and I go, oh, John, you should meet Crystal, hold on.
And then I would go and I grab Kirstel and I would go, John, I go, oh my God, you guys should talk. You guys have similarities. And then I'd go talk to people and I became the person in the room that would just go around connecting everybody. And so I made it not about me. Right. I made it about connecting other people in the room.
But here's what happens. Number one, it takes a little bit of the pressure off. But number two, it made me a leader in the room. Oof. Because now people are actually going like, oh, Gary's going around, really hooking everybody up. Gary's making sure. So do you think they're gonna repay the favor when it's time? They are. I think so. Yeah. And if for no other reason, they want to be my friend.
40:22
because I'm going around taking care of them and hooking them up and I'm the one that's actually working for them at that event, it really solidified some relationships that became really good referral partners for me later on. And it positioned me as a leader in that room. It positioned me as a connector in that room. And you don't have it. Yeah, yeah.
And after you do that a few times for people, they're gonna want to try to do something nice for you. They're gonna try to figure out, well, who can I introduce Crystal to? She's introduced me to three people already. Like, let me, so next thing you know, they'll start pulling you, they'll start introducing you. Or they'll start to think about like, who do I know that could really use a conversation with Crystal, right? And Crystal, the other thing about that for you that would be really valuable is,
One of the main things that you should try to accomplish is getting yourself invited in podcasts like this. Yes. Getting yourself invited to be a thought leader. Yes. So a lot of people will have platforms where they can invite you to do, you might meet somebody and go, hey, let's do an Instagram Live.
Let's do a duo live on Instagram. Well, now their network is seeing you and that you just get some followers that way. They go to your website, they click on something. You might get invited to some podcasts. You might get featured in an article. There are other ways that are not monetary that could really be beneficial for you.
So I would definitely start networking and make sure that you're hitting. I would be aggressive. I would make sure that you're hitting at least two networking events a month. The last thing I'm gonna say about networking is find the right places for you. Sometimes people feel like networking is like, there's different kinds of groups. There's different vibes. There's networking groups.
42:41
There is BNI or BNI-like groups that are more structured and have people show up every week. And there's like, so those groups are more about developing relationships over time. There is other groups that are more social, where they just host a month, but there's no, there's low commitment. Some groups charge, some groups don't, some groups have memberships.
Some groups are more like, dating where you just like go around and switch and talk to everybody. Some groups, some events you get to do a pitch and introduce yourself. There are so many different options. Don't be afraid to try all of them to find which one works for you. Don't be afraid to try different ones to find which is the right one for you, which is the right culture for you. And when you find the one that works, invest in it.
And what I mean by that is go repeatedly for a period of time. Because if you think about it, I need to know you, trust you, and like you before I start introducing you to my people. Right. So if I just go to a networking group, one-off, I'm probably not going to connect with you at the kind of level necessary so that I start to open up my people and start giving you, vouching for you. Right? So if you find a place that you like, either join it or attend every month, attend every week. Make sure that you see people see your face there repeatedly making those connections, introducing people. Cause then after that, wow, they're gonna go Crystal's always here. And every time she's here, she's always introducing people. Like, let me, let me actually, let me, I can trust her. I can trust her. I feel that I can trust her. I'm ready to introduce her to my, to my, to my network. Okay. All right.
Was this helpful? Was it? Absolutely. Freaking, literally. Yes, as usual too. You always know what to say. And it's just very personable and simple. And yeah, I mean, these are things that I can do and I wouldn't mind doing. I'm not, of course, the pitch master right now, but through the coaching, I'm reminded to give myself the grace to practice.
45:10
One step at a time. So this was definitely supportive and I appreciate you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Are you, if the one thing that feels incomplete for me, and if you just wanna have a follow-up conversation so you can think about it. Okay. If I want you to just get tangible goals in mind about some of the things that we talked about.
So, I'm going to do two networking events a month. I'm going to introduce myself to somebody on LinkedIn every day. I'm going to make sure that I ask somebody for an introduction two times a week. You've got to get, that's what's going to create that pressure that we talked about. And at this point, I would get aggressive about it. Get aggressive in a way that's sustainable, in a way that doesn't trigger you.
Okay. But get aggressive in a way that's gonna make you comfortable enough that there's a learning, but more importantly, in a way that's gonna apply to the consistent pressure that you're looking for to have the breakthrough. Okay. So if you wanna share that with me, shoot me an email, I'm happy to just follow up with you and hold you accountable. And we'd love to have you on the show in a couple of weeks to see what you've been doing and what kind of progress you're making. Yeah, I would adore that. Absolutely. And my wheels are spinning already, but I will definitely follow up. I know one of the first items is for me to even just create a pitch. I need to start there and then I'm going to invite people for me to practice the pitch on and I have plenty of people who are willing to give me feedback on that.
So, I'm gonna follow up so I'm not taking up too much time, but I'll definitely have two tangible goals. I know one of them, again, it's a practicing. Create, then practice. And then one of the things I know that I would love to do is to find other podcasters, like such as yourself.
47:33
I adore talking and being able to esteem myself in my expertise. So then also that imposter syndrome falls away when I'm able to be in my element. Yeah. So it also builds my credibility. So I appreciate that. 100%, 100%. All right, my love, well, thank you so much for opening up yourself and receiving the coaching and for being willing to share so openly so that our listeners could also value from it. Thank you for the courage it takes to do that.
And I actually love to kind of have you back in a few weeks because I love to see the journey. I think it would be really, I think our listeners are gonna want to follow you and kind of go, what's happening with Crystal? Is she? Yes, I hope so. It would be my honor and it also holds me accountable too. So it's a win-win. I would love to be back if you would have me. I definitely will. All right, we'll talk very soon, okay? Yes, thank you, Gary.
So I think today's episode could really be summed up with one key takeaway. The question that I want you to ponder is, how can I develop my confidence? I think that we often have this expectation that confidence is something you should already have or something that you're born with or a type of personality that you are. And some of that stuff may be true, but in my experience, confidence is something you develop.
Confidence is something that you grow into. Confidence is something that happens with you taking repeated actions over and over again until you are confident. So as you're starting a business or starting a new job or jumping into a new thing, it's natural that when you're doing something new that your confidence is going to be low. That's your brain's way of saying, ooh, I'm not sure how I'm gonna get this done.
That's okay, don't make that wrong. And don't try to suppress it, don't try to judge it, don't try to, that is normal human behavior. The question for you is, what are the things that I can do to start to build my confidence? What are the small steps that I can take to help me practice, to help me develop a skillset, so that I can work my way up to the big goal? If you take this approach, I promise you,
49:59
That big mountain, that big goal won't be as scary if you start to do the foundation work of breaking down the steps so that you can build confidence and little by little achieving mastery at the bottom level. And then you go to the next and then you go to the next. See you next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of The Ownership Game with your host, Gary Montalvo.
Make sure to like and comment on your favorite podcast platform, as well as subscribe so that you never miss an episode.