00:00
And if you don't take action, nothing's gonna happen anyway. So when people work on their mindset, which I think is great when people, I mean, I do mindset stuff, but mindset alone is kind of BS, Gare, because without the actions, nothing's gonna happen. You're not gonna produce results without actions. That's what is the source of results. So that's why it's always gonna go to an action to fulfill your vision versus, well, I have to just stop self-doubting.
What is that? I don't even know what that even means. You know, it's like, no, you don't. You don't even have to worry about self-debt. If what you wanna do is get your body in shape, you just go to the gym, whether you doubt it or not. If you do the physical actions, your body will respond the way the body responds to those actions.
01:22
I'm willing to bet that if you look at yourself, you've probably found yourself saying something like, someday I'm going to blank. And if you're honest with yourselves, again, you probably have a laundry list of hopes and dreams that are scheduled for someday. And as my next guest will tell you, someday is not a real day on the calendar. I'm so excited to introduce you to Josselyne Herman-Saccio.
She is a renowned coach and the founder of The Art of Being Unmessable With. With over 35 years of experience, she has helped countless individuals and entrepreneurs like myself achieve breakthrough performance and create the life of their dreams now, not someday. She's currently joining me from Paris, France, where she is fulfilling her someday dream of learning French and living in Paris.
Get ready, because you are about to get a master class in getting your butt in action, and I can't wait.
02:27
Hi everybody and welcome to the show my dear friend Josselyne Herman-Saccio, the queen of unmessability. It's good to be with you. I'm so happy you're doing this. I'm so excited to talk to you. So full transparency, Josselyne has been my coach for several years now. So we know each other really well and have become dear friends over the years.
Pre-puppy we know each other. Pre-puppy, pre-business, pre-relationship, pre a lot of things. It's true, actually, if we think about it, that's a whole other show. Yeah, we've been creating a lot over the last two years. And when I decided to finally do this, to finally create this thing that we've been talking about for two years, you were one of the first people that I wanted to talk to. And the reason is, cause you're just living a really fascinating life.
So Josselyne is currently joining us from Paris. This is true. Living in Paris like it's raining where you are, so we're not too far away. We are, and this has been a dream of yours for many, many years. And this year, you picked up- May, yeah, May 1st. And May, her and her husband said, okay.
It is time that we're no longer talking about this. We are taking action. And you have been just out there living your dream, posting amazing photos about wine and cheese and bread and beautiful walks and running a thriving coaching business and still being a great mom and still being a great kid to your family here in the States and just really living your dream. And I think so many people want to be living their dream now, right? And, but that's not how we relate to dreams.
It's like a future someday thing. I'm working towards this thing. So I just love your story and I love that you're doing this. And I think our listeners can learn so much from you in this realm. So let's jump in. Like, how did you, because I remember talking to you and you shared, you had shared that this is a dream someday.
04:50
And all of a sudden, next coaching call, you're like, yep, we're, we're moving to Paris in a few weeks. And we're no, I think that you told me like, oh, well we're down site where we're downsizing. Yes, exactly. Part of it. Yeah. We had to, we had to get a smaller space in New York where are two of our three kids are living and they're basically like in college roommates and they have a room for us that they're not happy that we're coming back to stay in when we come.
Because they like the autonomy of not, but they'll be happy to see us. But I was definitely like, okay, get ready for some roommates because we're coming, you know. Going back for the holidays and everything. So I've been dreaming about living in France since I was 16. So that's 40 years of dreaming about it. And then when I married my husband almost 30 years ago, we started talking about it and we started coming here and we would come every year.
In the last few years, it's become more than once a year, like sometimes four or five times a year. And it's always lived, as you say, Garrett, like a someday thing. Like someday we're gonna move to France. Someday when we retire, someday when we blah, whatever, right? And I was leading a course that I designed called Creating the Foundation for Being Unmessable With, which is all about establishing the muscles that are being unmaskable with which isn't about being tough it's about being able to create versus react right and i was leading i think it was session three or something like that and i'm talking to people about their someday dreams like what are some of your someday dreams and they're sharing some damn into this and they will start a business some day i'm gonna do this and i'm coaching them saying someday is not a real day look at your calendar you can't find it
It's not real. If you don't have a by when it's not real. And like, I'm like literally having this whole conversation and as I got off the Zoom call, I heard myself as if I'm talking to myself. I was like, whoa, wait a minute. You have a someday dream called France. Okay, no, what are we gonna do? I talked to Michael that night. I said, are we gonna do this or we're not gonna do it? It's okay if we're not. Let's set a date by when, even if it's five years from now, even if it's six years from now, whatever.
06:59
Let's at least have when so it's no longer someday, which is not a real day. It's like, let's do lunch. It's not real. It's not a real lunch, right? So we looked together and we were like, let's do it this year. Let's do it in six months, which was it was six months away from that conversation. And we decided to go to France, to Paris, that next weekend, just for the long weekend. It happened to be like right around this time. It was like November of that year.
And we met this couple. It's so perfect because once you commit to something, and you know this better than most people, right? Everything lines up to fulfill your intention. And so we came to Paris just for the weekend to kind of look around and see what neighborhood might we want to live in when we're gonna be moving in six months. And we had a friend, this couple that were friends with us and we had lunch with them and they were like, “Well, we're moving to Bordeaux and our apartment's gonna be available if you wanna meet our landlord. You could just take over and have a lease with them.”
We didn't even have to look for an apartment. It was literally within a week we had an apartment, then we got our visas, then we moved. And then he's in the entertainment business, so he was gonna take six months off. And the day after we moved here, the writers went on strike, and then the actors went on strike. So the six months ended up being all.
He wouldn't have worked anyway. So it was perfect. It was like, you didn't have to miss out on anything from, it was literally like the universe going, you're welcome. Yeah. And okay. So things started lining up, but let's also, it's not that it's convenient either. And let's acknowledge that there's a certain amount of privilege, right? Like you're, you guys have done well for yourself. You, you've made really good decisions in life. We have saved enough money. Yep. You had a business already established or it's getting established that you that you could move and do from over there.
So there were some things in play. Okay, let's acknowledge them, but this is inconvenient. Right, it's not convenient. It's inconvenient for my kids, but it turned out great. And it's mostly inconvenient for my parents who are 90 and 92. Yeah. And to not, we're the ones who every weekend are out there taking care of stuff for them, fixing things around the house, making sure the shopping's done, dah, dah. So what I always say is it is not possible to do it all, but it is possible to have it all.
09:19
If you get good at making requests and surrounding yourself with a team of people, because you on your own, and this is what I deal with in my coaching of entrepreneurs especially, when you're trying to get everything done yourself, you're looking down, you're looking in, you're managing. There's no magic in management. So that's the world of what I call as reaction versus the world of creation, which is more looking up and out at what your vision is, what is your dream, what are you fulfilling on.
Not what are you doing and managing, what are you fulfilling on? And they're two different worlds. So in order to stay in the space of creation, you have to have an amazing team around you that is getting stuff done so that you don't have to do it all. And my kids rose to the occasion for that with my parents.
They ended up alternating weekends to go out there. So almost every weekend has been covered other than maybe a couple. And then my parents who had been resisting, getting help during the week, all of a sudden got somebody for one afternoon a week, which was the best thing they ever did, but they didn't ever want to. And they figured they could do without it because we were there. So it all ended up falling into place pretty powerfully, but it wasn't by accident. It was by design and by request. And that's one thing that I find that people are not great at.
They're not great at making requests at all. Most people are horrible at making requests. But yeah, go ahead. We look down on it, right? We kinda, it's a badge of honor to be independent and do it yourself and push through it and tough it out. And I feel, especially if you're an entrepreneur, you have a lot of this mindset, right? Because you're the type of person who wants to go do this and go get it and make things happen. And so it's all mixed in there. So I think this conversation that you're really getting into my independence, like listen up right now, open your ears, because this is some goal being dropped right now.
Like we really do need people and teams and developing this artistry around making requests. So that's what you're gonna get into right now. And for sure with the people that I coach, anybody who is up to anything worth accomplishing, it's gonna require more than them.
11:37
I mean, if you're up to cleaning out your closet, okay, maybe you could do that on your own. You know what I mean? But if you're up to building a company or having an impact in the world or doubling your income or your well-being, being able to really maximize your well-being, anybody who's serious about their well-being gets a trainer or a nutritionist or a coach that can see what they can't see so they can accomplish what they envision and even beyond what they envision. One of the biggest things I've found is people don't even know what they want.
They're not clear because they're so busy, as you say, dealing with what's happening. And entrepreneurs and successful people are really good reactors. They're great at reacting at what's coming at them. It's like, okay, let me put out that fire. Let me deal with this thing. But that's all in the world of reaction, survival, looking down, managing. None of that is the world of creation and magic and vision and dreams. And it's critical to be able to see which world you're in at any given moment, if you want to develop the muscle that I call being unmetable with, being able to stay in that space of creation, no matter what circumstance you're dealing with.
Three weeks after we got here, my father ended up in the hospital. He's 90 years old. He's the sole caregiver of my 92-year-old mother who has dementia and can't use her left side, so she's not really mobile, and ended up having to have a pacemaker put in. My first thought was, I better get on a plane.
Of course, I mean because I have to like I'm the only person who can handle this right It's like but then I had to stop for a moment and look and look with my family like okay Do you need us to come back or? Is there a way for us to set this up and my kids rose to the occasion my sister rose to the case and everybody Was like no don't get on a plane where we've got this Yeah, and they did and it took me releasing my controlling independent entrepreneurial mindset to be able to expand
And that is a big thing that you have to release to expand. You have to let go. Yeah. What I'm getting really present to as you're speaking is the vulnerability that is required, I think, to let go of that control, to make the request to open yourself up. I think you made a statement earlier that a lot of people don't know what they want. I don't find that to be true.
14:01
I find that a lot of people don't want to admit what they want or pretend to be confused about what they want or avoid going there because when you do, well then now you got to start being responsible for that, right? You got to start now doing the work to get yourself there and then you got to go into the scary places. You got to go into the making this and it does require a certain vulnerability to.
I think you're spot on, but also I think if something doesn't, if you really want something but it doesn't seem possible, you hesitate to admit you want it. Like I remember when I was little, I wanted to be a singer more than anything. But at some point I decided you can't do that. You can't do your art as your career. So I never talked about it because I would seem like silly or I'm trying to be a starving artist. No, thank you. So I just kind of put it under the rug and that was that until I was doing a transformative workshop and saw that you can't do your art as your career wasn't the truth.
It was a belief I had, and I had a lot of evidence for it, but it wasn't the truth or solid or real like this cup is real. It was linguistic in nature. And I saw that, and in that moment, it loosened its grip on me. And within three weeks, I had a record deal.
So again, once you disappear like me saying that I had the someday dream and then within a week we had an apartment. So it's the same thing with any dream that somebody has. But I didn't have any money back then and I didn't have stuff saved in a business or anything. I just had a dream to be a singer and within three weeks. Because you're freed up to take actions on something that seemed impossible. If something seems impossible, you're not gonna act on it. Or if it seems too hard, you're not gonna act on it.
So let's dig into that a little bit because the I imagine a lot of people are listening are like, okay, this sounds great. I get it. I'm gonna dream like, where do I get started? How what would you and we mentioned, obviously, people that are up to stuff, get a coach. And it might be too expensive for people to get a coach. Yeah, yeah. And that's helpful for everybody. That's what I wanted to acknowledge. And obviously, we're both coaches. And so it might seem like
16:27
Whenever I tell people to get a coach, it's always like, it's a little self-serving. But we invest in coaching greatly. Exactly, I have three coaches. Because I'm actually interested in performance. I'm not interested in keeping things the way they are, incrementally growing them a little bit here and there. I want breakthrough performance for myself. That's why I can provide it to other people. Yeah, so if you, but to your point, if you're working your way up to that, if it's not accessible to you right now, if you're not ready right now.
What are some steps that you would recommend for people who are now getting started here? Well, I have, I mean, personally, I can just say I have a lot of free things available on my website because I am committed to touching as many people as possible and giving them the tools to be unmessable with. So I create things at a free level. I have my newsletter, I have podcasts on my website so that people can deal with topics.
I have free promise game to exercise the muscle of creation versus reaction. I have $19 things, $47. So I have things that people who can't afford to hire a personal coach and I do get that because it, and you don't want to hire just anybody. I mean, there are people who might be affordable, but you and I both know, you don't want to hire just anybody because coaching is, is something that now I'm not saying don't give a new coach a chance, right? Because everybody needs to get developed.
But I've been doing this for 35 years. So that's hundreds of thousands of people that I've impacted. So when you hire somebody like me or you, you're hiring somebody who has some mastery in the world of coaching. If you hire somebody who just got a certificate at such and such coaching academy online, they might have a real commitment, but they also might not charge as much. So that could be a way to get some one-on-one coaching at a smaller rate so it's accessible.
But I would do my research and I would interview the coach and find out where they're thinking from. Because everybody's got to start somewhere. So it's not, don't hire those people. I'm not trying to say that at all. Some of those people are great. And in fact, I trained some coaches to be better coaches because they are committed to delivering the goods. But it's like hiring a personal trainer. You probably wouldn't hire a personal trainer who's a hundred pounds overweight and isn't practicing, isn't living what they teach.
18:47
So back to how we started this conversation, that I'm living my dream. Yeah, no, that's my job, is to live my dream and be the example of what I'm training people in. Because if I'm not doing that, if I'm like, oh, you could have the marriage of your dreams, but my marriage is horrible, then how is that? That's not real. That's just not a real coach as far as I'm concerned.
That's kind of snobby, I think. I don't know if I like that I said that, but it's kind of true though, right? I mean, not gonna hire a money coach who's bankrupt and in debt. I mean, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and I think you're, I hear you, and I think for us, the reason you're passionate about it is because it's personal for us, and we see this all the time.
We see the impact of this all the time. So it's something that we're passionate about. So I 100% get it. Okay, so wait, one more thing, one more thing. Sometimes, before you get a coach, if you don't if money is an issue, you can follow coaches on social media that you admire and get a lot of free stuff from them and start implement because almost every coach that I know that has any kind of public presence as workbooks and things you can download and videos that you can follow them on YouTube.
So there are ways to develop yourself before you hire a personal trainer. You can get videos on YouTube of this workout or that yoga thing or whatever. So it's definitely possible if you're committed to developing yourself, there are ways to do it without having to spend thousands of dollars. Yeah, committed and I do wanna caution people here because I 100% think you're right.
And it requires a lot of rigor on your part to fly solo like this. Because you, you can't see what you can see your fish doesn't know that it's in water type of thing, right? Yeah. A lot of times you have these resources and you have these tools, but if you're still operating inside of your preexisting conditioning and yeah, and a lot of our beliefs, we can't see them.
21:00
Where they're hidden from us. There are things that you see right there and you go, oh, I know I do that. But there's things that the other day Jay and I just finished dinner and he started teasing me because I do, I get a little hangry sometimes. And apparently when I get hangry, I have this routine that I do where I'm like, and then I eat and then I go, ah.
And then at some point I make a sound. And he was making, he started walking through the routine and I was like, what are you talking about? I do not do that. And then a few minutes later, I went, woo. And I caught myself. So it's an innocent thing, but the point is that we also do these things that we can't see. And so having this type of- That's why I have a coach. Yeah, having this dynamic is really helpful.
If you were creating steps for someone, like what would be the first step I think to, let's say I have this dream that I'm working on and I see, I'm listening to this, I see that there's an opportunity for me to start living this now, right? That I've been operating. Like if you're taking anything away from this conversation, it's that if you catch yourself if you're speaking about your future as a someday thing. Yes. Right, like I think that's step number one.
22:51
Like if things like loose ends hanging out there and you can't live the life of your dreams in an unreal life. You have to actually be powerfully related to reality. So the first step, going back to your question about steps, is to clarify what you want. And again, you know, honing it, clarifying, really, what do I want really? What's the vision I have for this area, whether it's my career or my finances or my wellbeing or my life in general, right?
Then the question I would ask is, okay, what's gonna mess with you in fulfilling on that? What is gonna get in your way? What's gonna stop you from taking the actions that you need to take to fulfill that vision? And most people do see what gets in their way. They just don't have a way out of it. So if you can identify those things, then I ask, okay, what is the physical symptom that you're being messable with? So if you say, well, what messes with me is self-doubt.
That's what'll mess with me. Okay, how do you know you're doubting yourself physically? Like do you get tightness in your chest? Do you get redness in your face? Like there's something that happens physically when you're being what I call messable with or reacting. And that might take a little bit. You have to kind of go on a hunt for that over a week and sort of notice moments where you're getting messed with or stopped or thwarted and notice what's happening in your body so that you can be aware of the red flag.
Yhat you're not in the space of creation. So once somebody's- Yeah, go ahead. Why physically, like can you break that down a little bit? Yeah. Absolutely. Because when, and again, what I call being messable with, you could look at it as being in a reaction or kind of surviving or looking down, all those different ways of thinking about it. When that's happening, it's a physical thing that's happening in your brain. It's called an amygdala hijack. So what's happening is fight.
Flight freeze and you are dealing with what's coming at you. Like bullets are coming at you. They're not real bullets, but they're life bullets, right? So you are reacting to that and that's happening back here in your brain. Creation happens in this part of your brain, in the frontal cortex. So you have to literally shift physically your head space for lack of a better term. So the first thing you need to see is physically what's happening.
25:20
Because you will catch that quicker than noticing that you're doubting yourself. If you're, like my red flag is my chest. I get tight in my chest and my breathing gets shallow. I'll see that much quicker than realize that I'm nervous about something. I'll see the physical thing, because that's like real. The rest of it is sort of conceptual. So the minute my chest starts getting tight or my breathing gets, I stop and I have a hack for it.
I physically get up and look in the other direction. So I have to physically interrupt what's happening physically because I'm about to go down a road. So if I don't put the barrier up, I'm just gonna go down that road and then it'll be too late to see that you're being messable with and you'll just be down that tunnel and may the force be with you. It just is very hard to come back when you're too far down the road. So if you can intervene before you go down that road, right when that physical symptom is happening or the red flag.
Then you can kind of bring yourself to neutral. That's not sufficient though. I mean, most people, that's what they think mindfulness is, is getting to neutral, like bringing yourself back to being present. But if you notice, you're gonna end up right back down that road because it has so much more muscle, it's pulling you in that direction. So what you have to do in the methodology that I train people in is pre-create another road.
You pre-create a road down which you're gonna go rather than the self-doubt road in this example. So it could be anything I mean you might pre-create being an action or you could pre-create being courageous or whatever you create But you got to create it before this whole thing is happening because in the heat of the moment forget it You're in you're in crazy town.
So you've got it already ready and then if you have being courageous as another road you can in that moment of centering yourself, you can ask yourself, okay, what action do I need to take right now that'll demonstrate being courageous or that'll bring forth courage or that'll presence the world of being courageous? And then you just act on that. So that has you starting to go down that other road from a neural pathway perspective. Also, you're rewiring your brain. So good. So, so good. So many good nuggets there. I wanna just pull something out because
27:42
What I was really present to as you are sharing and training us, the mastery of. Hacking your brain. Yeah. In hacking yourself, because I feel one of the pitfalls that we often get stuck in is I wish I was different. Something's wrong with me for being this way. For something. I'm getting tied in my chest. I'm getting anxiety around this. Something's wrong with me.
I wanna be the type of person that this doesn't happen to. And so now that becomes the focus. Right. The judgment and the assessment about that become the focus, go ahead. I call that reacting to your reactions. Yes. So you have this reaction and then you have a reaction to your reaction which sends you deeper down the tunnel of that road. It's a rabbit hole. Yeah, you're just like spiraling now into this thing. Now you're out of control, forget it.
Yeah, I'm okay. This is fine. I am this way. I'm getting tightness in my chest. Fine. But what am I up to? What am I committed to? What do I wanna have happen? And what tools do I have available to navigate that, to retrain my brain, to develop a new muscle? So there's just like a commitment to the work instead of a commitment to the
what's wrong with me and what, yeah. Exactly, like what are you gonna fix about that? There's nothing to fix about that. It doesn't even really have anything to do with you. It's automatic. It's like your fingernails are growing. Oh, I wish I didn't have fingernails that grew. I mean, what are you talking about? It's just automatic. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's what, or like, I mean, you have how much hair you have. It's like going, well, I wish I had more hair. It's like, well, your hair grows the way your hair grows. What are you gonna do about that? Now what?
That's exactly one of the examples that I use. I go, I'm bald. This is a bald model. I don't know what to tell you. I can sit here and be upset about it, but I'm bald. Exactly, I'm 5'7", I'm not 5'10". It's like literally as pointless as going, God, I wish I were 5'10". If only I were 5'10", then I would, what are you talking about? Your chest is tight. It doesn't mean it's who you are. It doesn't mean there's anything. It's just, that's what's happening. That's why I say, look at the physical rather than.
30:03
what we make the physical mean, like, oh, I’m doubting myself, who am I to do this and da da. All that stuff is nonsense that gets you all wrapped around in a wad of drama that you can't do anything about. It's just thoughts. It's like, you have no, you're not thinking them, they're thinking you. So it's as automatic as your fingernails growing. Yeah, such a good conversation. And when you really develop that awareness, I feel like that is the freedom.
Right? Like that's the real freedom that when you're, when you're, when you, when you develop that awareness that I'm not, I'm not what's happening right now. I'm not my thoughts. And yeah, there are some where I want to be. There's a goal that I have. There's a commitment that I have. What can I do? What can I work? How can I train myself? How can I take a step towards that? How can you don't take action? Nothing's going to happen anyway. So when people work on their mindset, which I think is great when people, I mean, I do mindset stuff, but mindset alone, is kind of BS, Gare, because without the actions, nothing's gonna happen.
You're not gonna produce results without actions. That's what is the source of results. So that's why it's always gonna go to an action to fulfill your vision versus, well, I have to just stop self-doubting. What does that, I don't even know what that even means. You know, it's like, no, you don't. You don't even have to worry about self-doubt. If what you wanna do is get your body in shape, you just go to the gym, whether you doubt it or not.
If you do the physical actions, your body will respond the way the body responds to those actions. Yeah. And that breakthrough that you're looking to have, that skill that you're looking to learn, it's not even really available to you until you get an action, because up until that point, it's just theoretical. Yes, it's all concept. I can sit here and train you on how to ride a bike and give you all the diagrams and give you all the theories
But until you get on that bike and fall a few times and implement the lessons from that, this comes up a lot with when I'm teaching clients to sell and they're trying to learn how to sell before actually getting on the court and selling. Getting on a sales call, yeah, exactly. And it's like, no, I mean, I could give you a couple things, but then the real work comes from you being on the court.
32:22
Practicing, learning, debriefing. Well, it's like talking about having sex. It's like until you get on the court, it's all conceptual and then you discover what works and what doesn't work. Yeah. Okay, so specifying the goal, specifying getting really clear about what you want, getting it in action in a calendar, even if that is a future day, that's okay, but what is the day, right? What has to happen in order for that to get realized.
So if you have a goal, goals are always in time. If you have a goal to buy a house, but there's no buy when, it's not a real goal. Dreams can be a little bit more spatial, like a dream for freedom, but that's a little bit more spatial. Goals live in reality. So if you have a goal to start a company or start a podcast, right? So you have this goal to have the podcast, then there's gotta be actions that are gonna happen to fulfill that thing in reality.
Actions are like your bridge from vision to reality. So what I would always do is, and this technology, because we've worked together, is I'd go, okay, so when do you want that to happen? Okay, six months from now. Fine. So what would have to happen four months from now for that to be a done deal? What are the milestones that then you can then create an action plan to produce those milestones?
So if it's get an account with Riverside to tape my podcast tape is not probably what it is but whatever old so I remember tape so you do that by a certain date and you put that in your calendar so that it's in reality not on a to-do list to do lists are a recipe for overwhelm because they're never really done because you keep adding to them so if you see if you have a list if you like to work with lists fine but put a buy when by each one and then transfer them into your actual calendar anybody who doesn't
Good luck. You're insane. Yeah, exactly. That's what I would say, you're insane. Yeah, I mean, you're definitely straighter than I am. Just like, okay, well, good luck. I'm not the right person to work with. There was once upon a time that I did not operate in a calendar, long time ago. But what I wanna say about that is, again, I learned to. I learned to because it was the necessary thing that I needed in order to manage life and manage my goals.
34:42
Yeah. And that's as one of my workshops, that's like $19 or something is my calendar workshop called design your days, because it's not just about putting things in your calendar. It's about what are you creating with that to do? So what is the context in which you're going to the gym? Is it your creating wellbeing? You're creating vitality. Cause if you only just put to do's, you end up in that world of reaction. Also, you're just reacting to your calendar. So I always start with, okay, creating partnership, meeting with my assistant, creating intimacy, date with my husband, or whatever you're creating.
So start with what you're creating and then have the to do, because the vision is not the vehicle. Yeah. And you need to have both. Yeah. To be able to produce the kind of results you wanna have. Very good. So now I know that we've inspired a bunch of people to get in action. We've given them so many things they can implement on this call. I mean, this is a really
Like, I hope you guys were taking notes because this is just a lot of listen to it. Yeah. Or we listen to it. Come back. Um, so I think something that we should just leave them with as we start to wrap up is you're, you're going to have failures, right? You're gonna, you're gonna have breakdowns. Things are not gonna go the way that you plant them a lot of times. And I think we should just talk about that a little bit because I feel like that's where a lot of people go off.
I know a lot of people who start off, they make the goals, they do their plan, they put it in their calendar, they do the thing, and then the first time that something goes off, or the first time they can't keep an appointment, or the first time they don't meet a goal, they go, ah, it didn't work. It didn't work. I listened to Josselyne and Gary, I did all the things, I put it in the calendar, and it didn't work.
36:39
Process when you have a breakdown as what I just distinguished in terms of the steps because the breakdown is going to be whatever's coming at you Like what you don't need a measure or whatever you get on the scale and you haven't lost what you thought Whatever you're either going to react To what's happening and be messable with so again You look you got to look for the tight chest or the red face or whatever That's why you're on a hunt for those red flags because that's gonna be there when you have any result even if you win the game you're playing you have a reaction to that.
And sometimes I have a client who was launching a new program and he had a goal of a certain amount of people in the program by this date and the first email he sent, he got more responses than he expected. And then he just sort of goes, oh, good, OK, so I don't have to do the other emails. That's a reaction to a result versus staying with your word, with your plan, with what you were going to do. And then he ended up missing the mark because he stopped sending the emails. The emails what produced that result in the first place.
So keeping an eye on those red flags so that you can catch yourself, stop, and go down your pre-created road. Yeah. And I think what's sort of coming to mind for me is, be careful of this idea that you are just gonna walk up to the plate and hit a home run. I mean, I'm the same way. I'm not interested in struggling. I just wanna hit a home run right off the bat.
Without ever practicing, without ever going on the field, without like ever doing the work, I just wanna hit a home run. And it's so naive. It's really just naive and unrealistic and unkind to yourself when you just put that kind of pressure, that kind of expectation. The reality is anytime you're taking on something new, especially when the game is really big and really juicy, there is going to be things to learn.
You shared. Absolutely, there's even if it's not something new, there's things to learn. Yeah. You could be a master marketer like you are and you go to launch a campaign and it isn't effective. Okay, so now what? What is the source of the results you're getting? And that's a whole world of performance to get trained in is like, what is the source? What are the actions that are ineffective? Because you might be an action, but they're not effective actions.
39:04
So you've got to dissect the performance and be able to see, I mean, this is a higher level that we're talking about being at the source of performance and your results. That's a whole game of being sourceful in the area. We'll do that. We'll do that podcast. We'll do another episode just on that topic alone. That's right, on performance. It's true. I could spend a year talking about it. I'm about to spend a year talking about it with people because it's like elusive for people. But any two, if you were looking at a little kid learning how to walk.
You wouldn't expect them to just get up and start walking. That's insanity. They would get up, they'd fall down, they'd get up, they'd fall down. So you have to give yourself the same grace when you're taking on a new game. I just started practicing yoga. I can't do the back bends and I can't do the thing. And you have to be conscious and graceful and compassionate for where you are. And it's not a race with someone else. It's like you're developing yourself. So that has a lot of power when you're compassionate with yourself.
Not only will you not have the expectation of a child just being able to walk, you would never speak to a child who felt learning how to walk the way that you speak to yourself. Or it's like, you were terrible, right? So I think that's a great place to- If you had to learn how to walk now, you'd be so screwed because you'd fall down like twice and you'd be like, nevermind, I'm just gonna lay here.
I just look at shoes for the rest of my life. It didn't work. You know? It didn't work. Well, thank you, Joss. And this has been a lovely conversation. I, so many goodies. If you're listening, definitely. Joss, and what's your website? The website is thea but I'd love to give a gift to your listeners, which is really at. Oh, yes. Yeah, giftfromjoss.com, J-O-S-S, giftfromjoss.com. And that's my free five-day promise game where you can learn how to use your words to create the future versus describe what's happening. W
oo! Fire, I love it. So that's a great place to start. Those of you that are looking to up level your dream achieving muscle. Well, thank you so much, Josselyne. It was a pleasure. Would you please come back?
41:19
Anytime for you. Thanks for having me. I'm so happy. This is like the realization of a vision you had last year So I'm so happy it really is and I and I thank you so much for your support and everything you've done to help me Get here. So this is really exciting and let's record an episode from Paris How about we do that? All right, my friend take care take care
Josselyne's work brings to light a very important lesson. Your life is now, and you're gonna die someday. I don't say that to be shocking or insensitive, but I do say that to instill some sense of urgency in you. We live under this illusion that time is an endless resource and that you can just keep kicking your dreams down the road, but tomorrow is not guaranteed, and all you really have is right now. Whatever that dream is,
Take your calendar out and set a date. Don't worry about all the details yet. Just start by setting a date. After that is done, you can start working backwards and figure out all the things that you need to do to achieve it. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to get in action and take the first step. I promise you, the rest will start to reveal itself, but only when you get in action. As always, thank you for joining me for this week's episode.
and I'll see you next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of The Ownership Game with your host, Gary Montalvo. Make sure to like and comment on your favorite podcast platform, as well as subscribe so that you never miss an episode.