EPISODE 47. Beyond Survival: The Power of Reflection in Changing the Course Your Life - Jevon Wooden
2025-02-14
Transcript
Jevon Wooden - 0:00:00
When I sat down there in Afghanistan and I was sitting there, it was like six months in, and there was a suicide bombing attack that happened about a month before. That was my final straw. I’m just like, man, I don’t want to do this. My emotions, I’m starting to become, like, kind of jaded, and I didn’t want that anger or frustration to really dictate the rest of my life. When you’re in that situation, you’re in survival mode.
Jevon Wooden - 0:00:23
And oftentimes when you’re in survival mode, you only see one path. When there’s another option, you just can’t see it because you’re just trying to do things. You’re so reactionary. So what that time did was allowed me to introspect and think like, man, what skills do I have? What can I do when I get out of here? Because that’s hope. You’re holding on to hope when you’re in there. Like, maybe I. Hopefully I don’t have to do this time that they’re talking about. Hopefully, I get another chance. And I held onto that, and in there, I discovered a lot about myself, and I never took time to pay attention to.
Theme Music
Welcome to the ownership game with Gary Montalvo. What would it take to get into the driver’s seat of your life and leave your mark? The ownership game starts now.
Gary Montalvo - 0:01:18
How often do you take the time to reflect not just on what’s happening in your life, but on the role that you’re playing, playing in it? And I don’t mean the type of reflection where you are constantly replaying mistakes that you’ve made and using them as ammunition to beat yourself up. I mean, real reflection where you look honestly at your actions, not to punish. Yourself, but to learn to grow and.
Gary Montalvo - 0:01:44
To make intentional changes. My guest today, Jevon Wooden, is someone who understands the true power of reflection. Reflection. As a teenager, Jevon found himself in jail, facing the possibility of seven years in prison. That moment could have been the end of his story, but instead, Jevon used that time to reflect not just on what had happened, but on the role he played and the choices that he’d made, and perhaps more importantly, the man that he wanted to be from that point forward.
Gary Montalvo - 0:02:20
That moment of introspection became the turning point that shaped his life. It became the foundation for his success. From his long career in the military to building a leadership consulting business, Jevon’s story is a testament to the power of owning your choices, learning from your mistakes, and using those lessons to create a life of purpose. If you’ve ever felt stuck, Stuck or weighed down by your past.
Gary Montalvo - 0:02:47
Jevon’s story is going to challenge you to stop judging yourself and start owning your choices, embracing the lessons and your mistakes, and to take the first step towards the future that you want. So, Jevon, why don’t we start at the beginning? Tell us a little bit about. Well, not a little bit. Tell us about your background and your life and how you got here.
Jevon Wooden - 0:03:16
Yeah, I mean, for me, I’ll start at 17, right? I grew up in Rochester, New York. Grew up in poverty, like, story of so many of us. And at 17, you know, I just, I got into some trouble. Hanging with the wrong crowd. Sat in a jail cell for a few months, waiting, waiting fate, you know, I was facing seven years in prison for an assault and robbery charge. And by the grace of God, I didn’t have to do that time, but. But what it did when I got sat down for that time was I had to understand the concept of value.
Jevon Wooden - 0:03:49
So initially I thought value was monetary. We didn’t have any money. So I’m like, we’re valueless. That’s what society shows, right? You watch this TV show, those people who are affluent, they get treated very well. The rich get richer, so to speak. But my mother came to visit me. My mother and my older sister came to visit me while I was sitting in there. And just to see the wear on their faces that I had caused, really did something to me. It triggered something in me. And then my mom said something. She said, I’m going to put up the house for you to get your real lawyer. Because she didn’t want me to get a public defender. Because she knew if she got me a public defender, what was going to happen, right? So if you think about that, and it took me a while to really realize that. It took me a few years actually. Like, oh man, if anything went wrong, right, my family would have been homeless because they could have taken the house.
Jevon Wooden - 0:04:38
So that really caused a paradigm shift for me. That’s one of my first inflection points that really allowed me to see life and see possibility from a different lens because I was so closed in to pain and despair. So fast forward. Graduated high school, tried to go to college, couldn’t afford it. I was working two full time jobs and I was like, man, this cannot be life. I’m 21 right now at this time, like, it’s gotta be more.
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:04
So I ended up getting a recruiter who worked with me. He was moonlighting on the weekends, right? Just working at a hospital. I worked at in Rochester. And he was like, man, you should come to the recruiting station. And I said, bet I’m down for that. Shoot, I’m trying to get the hell out of here. Whatever that means. Whatever I gotta do. So that Monday, it was Saturday. That Monday, I go down to the recruiting station, take the ASVAB test, which shows you what jobs you can get.
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:29
So he was like, man, you can get any job you want as long as you’re in shape. As long as you can pass our physical fitness test, you can do anything you want. I chose tech. And then.
Gary Montalvo - 0:05:37
Wait, hold on. So when you say recruiter, we’re talking about the military?
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:43
Yeah, the military.
Gary Montalvo - 0:05:44
Yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:44
Yeah.
Gary Montalvo - 0:05:45
We just wanted people. Didn’t I read your bio? So I knew that. But the people at home, oh, yeah, army recruiter. You could have any job you want. You’re like, oh, great.
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:54
Yeah, army recruiter, Right.
Gary Montalvo - 0:05:55
Okay.
Jevon Wooden - 0:05:56
So I go to the military, and this is really my first foray to understanding leadership, right? So the concept of leadership from my. Myself getting put in positions where I’m not just sitting back and getting orders, right? And at jobs, they tell you, hey, you’re the ca year. You do this. Your job is to do this thing. Well, it was switched. I had to lead people and tell them, hey, here’s how we’re going to do this, and have those tough conversations and all that. So it really forced me to learn what I was made of as a person, as a leader, and as a person trying to find their way.
Jevon Wooden - 0:06:34
So that’s what really led me down this path of who you see now. The military was a great way for me to kind of remove myself from what I thought was possible, to seeing that possibilities were truly endless, which is what I focus on a lot now. It’s really what caused me to. To own my kingdom, so to speak, which is named my first book. And kingdom, in this sense is your mindset. Because once you control your mindset, you control your destiny. So that’s why I do the work I do now when it comes to coaching and training other leaders.
Gary Montalvo - 0:07:05
Beautiful. Let’s go back to your teenage years. Because I think what, you know, what was present for me is that a lot of people, I think, would find themselves in your situation. But what do you think was present for you? That something switched, you know, and you took the lesson, you know? You know what I mean? Because I feel like a lot of people would. Would be in that situation and kind of continue making the same mistakes or approach the sit from like, oh, my God, they’re trying to get me, you know, so a victim context or. Or just not. Not listen to the. Not listen to the call. Right. Because I always talk about on the show how we’re being spoken to all the time, but we don’t always, like, listen to that thing that’s being dropped in our hearts and our souls. So what do you think? For you made that not be the case so that. So that it would. So that you could, like, you answered the call.
Jevon Wooden - 0:08:13
Well, I mean, for me, I didn’t want that. Right. I knew that that wasn’t the path that I wanted to go down, and I made a vow. Like, that was when I sat in that cell. That was the first time I prayed on my own volition. Right. That was the first time I actually spoke to God through my own words, from my own time, instead of being forced. And that made another connection for me. And when he released me, it was just confirmation, like, okay, okay, I can do this. I’m not by myself. Right. God has not forsaken me.
Jevon Wooden - 0:08:42
And then I also had my mother and my sisters who were really dependent on me, right. To do something, because I was the middle child. I have an older brother, but, you know, he fell into the same thing. He didn’t go to prison, but he just. He never really truly lived till this day. So I wanted to be the one to kind of change that for the family, but I wanted to do it the right way. You know, I was always told that I was smart, that I had capabilities, so I wanted to lean into those, and I wanted to make my mother proud, and I wanted to be able to support, not put her through strain.
Gary Montalvo - 0:09:15
Yeah. So you just. It seems like you. So what I’m really hearing is that you saw a game for yourself that was worth playing. Right. That you saw the. The. The man you wanted to be for your family, the things you wanted to provide for your mother. The. You had started to create a vision for yourself that would allow you to. To start stepping up.
Jevon Wooden - 0:09:45
Yeah. Well, I understood that, you know, when you’re in that situation, you’re in survival mode. And oftentimes when you’re in survival mode, you only see one path. When there’s another option, you just can’t see it because you’re just trying to do things. You’re so reactionary. So what that time did when I was sitting in the cell allowed me to introspect and think like, man, what. What skills do I have? What can I do when I get out of here?
Jevon Wooden - 0:10:06
Because that’s hope you’re holding on to hope when you’re in there, like, maybe, hopefully I don’t have to do this time that they’re talking about. Hopefully I get another chance. And I held onto that. And in there, I discovered a lot about myself that I didn’t. I never took time to pay attention to. And I also discovered a lot about my surroundings, who I was hanging with, what I was doing, you know, that I just didn’t see value in anymore. So that time was really. And that’s why I always tell people that I talk to. To introspect. Like, not just reflect, but introspect.
Jevon Wooden - 0:10:35
Like, instead of saying, oh, man, how did that go? Ask yourself, like, okay, it went this way. What can I do differently? What lessons have I learned that I can apply? You know, you got to take that accountability because it helps you take that extra step.
Gary Montalvo - 0:10:49
Yeah. And. And I’m glad you. It’s interesting that you said that that’s something that you speak about in your teaching, because what stood out for me as you’re saying that is that. That even that ability to reflect and introspect, as you said, and take a look and ask yourself these questions. That’s also rare because mostly we just don’t do that where, you know, because the problem is not that we made these mistakes. Often what I see is the problem is that we don’t take the time to integrate the lessons from those mistakes. Right. We don’t take the time to ask those questions that you just modeled for us so perfectly and use that opportunity as a way to evolve yourself and grow. But often what I see is we’re trying to avoid that because we feel bad, we feel guilty, we’re ashamed. You know, we’re not. We’re. We just don’t. We’ve never taught to do that, Right? We. We’ve never. I don’t. This isn’t something that we’re, like, taught in school or taught in our families often to, you know, and the way that society is built today, we’re always in devices. We’re always in automatic. We’re always being triggered. So there isn’t a lot of space to do in, you know, that type of reflection that you’re talking about. But it’s so important and key. I. For anyone who wants to grow 100%.
Jevon Wooden - 0:12:31
And it’s the toughest work, right? It’s the toughest work to look in the mirror and say, okay, what part do I play? How can I change? How can I be better? It’s not easy. And it’s something that. And that’s why they call it a practice. Right. Mindfulness practice, you know, and all these things are practices because there’s no such thing as perfection in it. You know, you’re always looking for little ways to tweak and be better. And you know, as we know, we change, our goals change.
Jevon Wooden - 0:12:58
So we have to make sure that we’re always in alignment with that and recognize, you know, when we, when we could pivot just a little bit or make a shift.
Gary Montalvo - 0:13:06
Yeah. So you, you, you go into the army, how long were you in there?
Jevon Wooden - 0:13:16
12 years.
Gary Montalvo - 0:13:17
12 years. So a little bit. What was that like? I mean, you stuck around for a while, so I’m guessing it was valuable. But I’m curious what that experience was like for you. Especially, you know, as a black man and especially coming from a place of not. That wasn’t your, your trajectory. Right. Because there’s, you were, you were just like life was life thing. And then all of a sudden this thing got put in front of you and it’s like, oh, army. Okay. So yeah, yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:13:53
I mean, for me, for me it was great. You know, I did sometimes some of that time is in the reserves as well. But for me, it was the thing that I needed. And I stayed for 12 years because I realized that my purpose was really to help others. Right. I had all this intuition from all these various experiences that I’ve accumulated over this time. And serving as a non commissioned officer, being able to lead all these different soldiers from all these different backgrounds, interact with people that I would never have met if I hadn’t went that route, it just really changed my world, changed the way I looked at everything, the way I understood opportunities, the way I understood that I don’t impact the outcome, but I can impact my effort.
Jevon Wooden - 0:14:40
That’s the way I live. Everything I think about when I think of the military, that’s how I go about every day.
Gary Montalvo - 0:14:47
Beautiful. What were. And so you came out of the army and did you immediately know what you wanted to do after or was there some. I know you went to, you were in the reserve, so you probably had some in between time to figure this out. But I’m curious as to how you came to a place where you knew you wanted to launch as your business as a consultant and speaker.
Jevon Wooden - 0:15:20
I mean, it took me a while, like in, in the military. I did tech it and that’s what I did in the civilian side for a long time. So this, this whole. And speaking and all of that workshops, all those types of things, consulting. It came about my last deployment like I knew that it just wasn’t something I wanted to keep doing to staying in the military. My body was breaking down emotionally, mentally. Like, things kept happening. And I’m like, I don’t want to deal with this anymore.
Jevon Wooden - 0:15:50
It’s not normal to see the things and deal with the things that we deal with. So I wanted more stability. And when I sat down there, I was in Afghanistan. And I was sitting there, it was like six months in, and there was a suicide bombing attack that happened about a month before. And that was my final straw. I’m just like, man, you know, I don’t want to do this. My emotions, I’m starting to become, like, kind of jaded.
Jevon Wooden - 0:16:19
And I didn’t want that anger or frustration to really dictate the rest of my life. You know, I was in my 30s, early 30s at that point, and I sat there and said, what can I do? Right? Technology is not my thing. Pays well, but does not feed my soul. It’s actually draining. I don’t enjoy it. So I did a Google search and I said, all right, I know motivational speaking, but what else can I do? And coaching had popped up on the list of things. I was like, what is this coaching thing?
Jevon Wooden - 0:16:47
Then I went down a rabbit hole, found International Coach Federation, started doing my training over there. And I loved it. And I was like, man, this is a skill that you can use even if you’re not a coach for your profession. Like, you can use it in any time and it helps, right? Especially as a married man. Right?
Gary Montalvo - 0:17:06
So wait, so you’re telling me that you literally found your next step in life by Googling?
Jevon Wooden - 0:17:11
I Googled it. They say Google knows it all. And it did. I was like, yes. Google coming through for the win.
Gary Montalvo - 0:17:19
I love that. I love that. And this is so good. And you know what it just speaks to, like, what? When people tell me, like, I don’t know what to do, I’m always like, come on now. Like, that’s not a thing anymore. Like, anybody can go to Google and find the steps to the next thing they have to do. And here you are modeling it so perfectly. I love it.
Jevon Wooden - 0:17:42
Yeah. No, yeah. And I was like, that was my aha moment, man. And I just went full force. So when I came back, I had. I got out of the military and I was still working in tech for a while as I was building this business. And fast forward like a few years. You know, when you have a job, you’re not really giving your all.
Gary Montalvo - 0:18:02
It’s hard. It’s so difficult.
Jevon Wooden - 0:18:03
It’s hard to give your all. And I was in school, I was doing a lot. So again, my main man, God, he was like, hey, it’s time. And in 2022, I had to go full force because I got laid off. And I was like, all right, so I’m a person who listens. You said, you know, you’re always being spoken to. That’s so true. So I’m a person who listens. So I’ve gone full force since 2022, and it has been very challenging, but it’s also very, very rewarding.
Jevon Wooden - 0:18:33
And that, that burnout and that feeling of stress just because I was in a role that I didn’t enjoy is gone right now. I, I’m more than willing to work 18, whatever hours, more than willing to put in the effort to, to do this thing that I know is my path that I we walking. Yeah.
Gary Montalvo - 0:18:51
Because this is the thing, like, starting a business is definitely not about working less.
Jevon Wooden - 0:18:55
No, you work way more.
Gary Montalvo - 0:18:58
You work so much more. And, and, and, and you are. I wish I had, like, I don’t know if your IT experience helps you in any way, but I wish I had it that I could call sometimes.
Jevon Wooden - 0:19:10
Oh, no, it does. It definitely helps because, like the integration, setting up systems and stuff, I can do that, like, no problem. You know, it definitely, definitely helps. But I feel you, I mean, as an entrepreneur, like, especially when you’re just starting out, unless you have, like a nice nest egg to invest, you’re literally going to do everything. And I recommend, even if you are just starting out, instead of like, outsourcing it, like, at least learn the basics of what you need to do for that task so you can understand what’s going on, understand if someone’s performing well, how long it may take.
Jevon Wooden - 0:19:40
Right. So you, you have that guidance and you have those benchmarks that you can go off of before you start outsourcing things.
Gary Montalvo - 0:19:47
Yeah, I, I 100 agree with that. It’s an advice that I give my clients as well. Because sometimes people start delegating things because they don’t. Something they don’t like doing or something they don’t want to do. But then they just go, here, do you, you deal with that and it’s a recipe for disaster when you don’t, when you at least don’t have the fundamentals of how that works. You, you can’t manage quality. Right. You can’t.
Jevon Wooden - 0:20:1
And she may not even know. Like, that may not even be a thing you actually need. Right? Yeah. Because it may be a point in time thing and then you come and find out, you bring someone else on and you don’t really have as much work as you thought under that thing. So you try to fit them in another task. It just doesn’t work that way. So you got to spend some time. And like I recommend people to jot down as they build the business. Like, okay, I love this, I’m gonna keep this one.
Jevon Wooden - 0:20:38
You know, I, I do this thing. Rock, rocks, pace rocks, pebbles and sand. So the rocks are the revenue generating activities. I’m going to keep those, right? Those are the things I absolutely have to do. Being the face of the business, being the CEO, etc. So keep those revenue generating activities like speaking or having conversations, hopping on podcasts. Those things you can’t outsource, right? But the sand task, those things that really need to get done, but not necessarily by you or aren’t in your zone of genius, those are things you can mark as, hey, I’m a delegate. This is the role I need to, to do that thing.
Jevon Wooden: - 0:21:12
So that’s how I track it. And then those sand tasks, those are things on that to do list that you just feel good checking off. But they’re not really moving the needle forward. I don’t even, I don’t, I’m not even going to deal with those. I may not even delegate them. You know, I may just say those, those are just a waste of time. They’re feel good check ins there, but they’re not moving the needle. So I’m not even a deleter.
Gary Montalvo - 0:21:33
What was the most, the biggest challenge for you? Stepping into entrepreneurism? Because it’s a shift, right? It’s a shift in mindset, it’s a shift in practices and habits. And it takes a little while to kind of make that adjustment for most people. What was that like for you?
Jevon Wooden - 0:21:58 I mean, for me, I think it was just like for everyone else. You come into it, you don’t realize the gravity of the situation until you’re in it. So it’s like, oh man, I’mma grow this business. You have great grand visions when you start out and then you like, this is not going any way according to the plan I had, right? You open a launch or something like that, you get crickets and you’re like, what the hell is going on? You know, I thought this was going to start like water worse. And it just doesn’t, doesn’t happen that way. I wish it did. And so that was my experience.
Jevon Wooden - 0:22:33
So really, you know, I’ve done the ads, I’ve invested in programs, I’VE done all these things, and guess what? None of it worked for me. So I had to figure out what didn’t work so I can find out what really worked. Because you do this thing, everyone’s journey is different, right? You can get insight from a mentor who’s doing very well, but it may not work for you because it does not align with you.
Jevon Wooden - 0:22:56
So we have to identify what aligns with us, what marketing strategies are gonna work. I found that one on one, in person, like, content marketing is my best. I don’t need to run ads, even though I’ve wasted a lot of money on it and it never worked, you know, so you have to go through those growing pains. But I. I look at it as the cost of learning, you know, it’s not a loss. It hurts. It hurts.
Gary Montalvo - 0:23:18
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
Jevon Wooden - 0:23:19
But what you. When you. If you. If you’re able to stick with it. And I know that’s a big if for some people because a lot of times they’re in dire straits and their entrepreneurship journey just started because it out of necessity. But if you’re able to stick with it, when you start to refine your processes, when you start to refine how you do things, it increases your success exponentially. So like I said, I didn’t get any success from ads. I didn’t get not one client, right? And I spent thousands of dollars. Not one client. I always got the wrong person on the call who didn’t have, you know, the money or wasn’t ready. And I’m like, why are you on this call?
Jevon Wooden - 0:23:57
So, but what you learn from that is. Okay, let me figure out. Let me actually sit down. There goes the introspection again. Let me actually sit down. And who. Who am I looking to speak with? Right? And why. Why does it matter? Why is it important for me to reach that person? What issues are they going through now? I’m not a big person. I don’t like that. That scarcity tactic of marketing. So when I do content, I’m adding value.
Jevon Wooden - 0:24:23
I’m talking about a story I’m sharing, you know, lessons learned. But it resonates with them because they can see themselves in that. That it hits them. They’re like, oh, man, Jevon, I’m so glad you shared this. Right? The other day, I was going through that. That’s an opening for me to have a conversation. So that’s how I do marketing now. But it took me a while to learn that. So entrepreneurship was a. Was a journey where I got an mba and it did nothing. It Wasn’t until I got under job training that I truly became an entrepreneur.
Gary Montalvo - 0:24:51
Yep, yep, yep. So many, so many juicy lessons in what you’re talking about that I want to just kind of pause and extrapolate. Number one is this idea that it’s not going to go the way that we planned, and we have to be prepared for that because so many people get taken out of the game because they’re attached to how they thought it was going to go, or they immediately take the failure as it means, oh, it’s not going to work. And as you stated, so much of this game is failing and reassessing and taking inventory and implementing the lesson and getting back out there.
Jevon Wooden - 0:25:44
Absolutely.
Gary Montalvo - 0:25:46
I cannot stress that enough. Like, you, you. And I don’t know if you’re training. And the fact that I. I find that my mindset and. And, you know, leadership training does help me a great deal with this, but I still struggle with that where I have to do the work of bringing myself back because I have that experience. Ah, shoot. That failed. That didn’t work. And I. What I really want you guys to hear is the game is fail fast, fail as many times as possible, because all those failures will teach you, will give you valuable information. As Jevon pointed, he learned, oh, that’s not my marketing strategy. That’s important information to learn for.
Jevon Wooden - 0:26:39
Sure.
Gary Montalvo - 0:26:40
Right. Did you. Did you want to say something?
Jevon Wooden - 0:26:44
Yeah, I was going to say, I love that fell. That fell fast. But make sure you’re failing intentionally. Right. Like, so I see so many people just doing everything, like, and they give it the college try. They’ll be like, oh, I tried this for two weeks. It didn’t work. No, you got to give it.
Gary Montalvo - 0:27:01
Give it.
Jevon Wooden - 0:27:01
At least I’m gonna say give it at. Right. Whatever. Whatever strategy you’re using, whether it’s a growth strategy, marketing outreach, whatever it is, give it at least 90 days and track it. Right. What metrics are you going against? What are you looking to hit? How you know it’s successful and just through that time, tweak it just a little bit. I had to reinvent myself a million times. And that’s okay because I was learning that information you talked about with Fell and fast and Fell in forward.
Jevon Wooden - 0:27:28
Right. It gives you that insight and that data, but you have to be able to pay attention to it. So it’s important for us as entrepreneurs. I know we don’t like to, but to track what we have going on. So I recommend at least setting some time like mine. I do Fridays like I do my Admin on Fridays. So I’ll look back at the week and say, okay, I had X amount of calls. How many did I close? How many? You know why? I might re looked at some of the transcripts to see, you know, chat. GPT helps us. I’ll upload them. Be like, what? What could I have done different, differently. Because again, you’re learning all this information and we have wonderful tools that you can use for free these days or 20 bucks that may help you to become better.
Jevon Wooden - 0:28:09
And it’s just really about being willing to iterate. And that may not just be how you do things, it may be the product or service you’re offering too. You know, people may not want that what you have at that time. So we have to be willing to kind of separate ourselves from the idea and realize that we’re running a business. It’s not for us, it’s for the people that we serve.
Gary Montalvo - 0:28:29
Yeah. Well, that brings me to one of the other points that I wanted to extrapolate from what you shared. What was also really present in kind of what kept you going is the impact you wanted to make, right. That you were being of service. And part of what seemed to ground you and focus you is like, okay, who am I trying to serve and how can I serve them and what is it that they need? And I think that’s a valuable lesson not just from creating the service context, but also from that’s a marketing conversation, right? Like who am I trying to serve? What is it that they need? But very often when we are, especially those of us that are heart centered, which is most of the people that hang around me, when we have these failures, when we have these obstacles, it’s very easy to get stuck in a mindset of trying to fix the problem, of getting more task oriented. But you’re really staying grounded and connected to the heart part of it, which is the why the people that you’re meant to impact, the service that you want to provide people. And I think that’s incredibly powerful and it takes that in and of itself. For me, it’s a practice as well.
Jevon Wooden - 0:29:57
Absolutely. No, I, that’s, I feel like all people, not just entrepreneurs, but all people need to do that. Like, what impact am I looking to make? Because we all, no matter what we do, from, you know, janitorial services up to CEO, from entrepreneur over to the employee, we all are creating an impact in some way shape or form. And leadership is influenced, like my man John Maxwell once said. And that’s how I look at it. Like, how are we influencing because no one wants to be unmemorable.
Jevon Wooden - 0:30:29
Right. We all want to leave our indelible mark on this world. So we have to really think about what that mark is. Because if you don’t, you don’t want to look back and say what a coulda should or I, I, you know, I wish I would have taken that chance. I wish I would have did this thing differently. You want to make sure that you’re intentional about every moment that you’re spending on this planet because time is a, is a finite resources. This the one thing we cannot get back. Right. So you want to make sure that we think about that and be very intentional about how we use it so we can be proactive versus reactive.
Gary Montalvo - 0:31:01
Yeah. What Talk to me about your brand of leadership and what like. Yeah, what’s your point of view on leadership? What’s your take on it? How do you approach it? I find that leadership is one of those things that it’s confusing to a lot of people because mostly how we approach leadership is some outside thing tells you that you are a leader. Like you, you know, a title, bank account, you know, degree, certification or something like that. Right. And then, and, and that’s what has us, you know, you get voted a leader, you get, you know, nominated somehow. Like, you know, there’s all these outside things that make us leaders, but when, when those things are absent, Right. It, it’s like how do you lead in that, in the face of that? Right. So what’s your, what’s your. Yeah, tell me a little bit about, you know, your approach to leadership.
Jevon Wooden - 0:32:09
Yeah, I mean, my whole thing is empathetic leadership and because I feel like if you’re not an empathetic leader, then how can you understand and how can you know how to best serve the people you’re serving? So you have to be able to get information on their position, their standpoint, their perspectives, their experiences to understand how your decisions and actions may impact them. If you don’t think about it or you make decisions in a silo way without looking at that, then you’re in for a bad outcomes. It may work for a little bit, but you’re not going to have sustained success.
Jevon Wooden - 0:32:48
So everything I do is about getting feedback from the people I’m leading. And again, for me, leadership is influence has nothing to do with title or any of that, has more so to do with the influence and the impact that you’re making. Because I’ve seen people with big titles and they make small impact. Right. Or they’re all about themselves. And I’ve never wanted to be that person. So I wanted to make sure that I led for the people I’m serving, my people. You know, people talk about servant leadership.
Jevon Wooden - 0:33:16
That’s a big part of how I see it. I feel like if you don’t look at your. Your plight and your journey as a. As a time of servitude, then you’re missing the point. Point again. It’s about, like, what mark do I want to make? And what I want to do is I want to help so many other people see their greatness so that they can make an impact in the world and just create this domino effect. There’s a quote I like that says a butterfly can’t see its own wings.
Jevon Wooden - 0:33:44
So I like to get to know people. I want to know a little bit about their story, what their motivations, what their drivers, what their fears are. You know, why do they get up every day to do a task? You know, what keeps them interested? What are their strengths? What are their aspirations? Because that’s what I’m leading based on. Because if that butterfly can’t see how beautiful or strong they are, it’s my job to make sure I unlock that for them so they can start seeing themselves.
Gary Montalvo - 0:34:07
Yeah, what, what advice do you have for people who are trying to develop those skills? And, you know, I, I agree with you that. I agree with you that service is a pillar of leadership and the pillar. But I think that most people, not most people, I think a lot of people are disconnected from that at times in a way of meaning that I think you and I have made our life about being of service. I don’t know that a lot of people have woken up to that, even though they, if you, if they kind of. Look, they enjoy being of service, every human being does. But when you make your life about being in service, there’s a different. There’s something that just clicks in in a different way. And you’re driven in a different way. And I think. And so for people who are finding their passion, who are trying to. Who, who are trying to find the click, the thing that is the thing that drives them, what advice do you have for them to find that? You know, does that make sense?
Jevon Wooden - 0:35:31
Yeah, absolutely. And I think we alluded to it a bit earlier. Like, you have to take time with yourself, because if you don’t know you, how can you do anything with anybody else? You know what I mean? Like, if you don’t know you and you’re trying to do something for everyone else, you’re not a Leader, you’re just a people please. So you have to be able to differentiate the two. So if I know myself, I know my values, I know the impact I’m looking to make. I know what I’m going to stand on, what’s non negotiable for me, I know the type of people I’m looking to serve. I know all these things and, and I have an idea of how that looks.
Jevon Wooden - 0:36:03
Then I can go out and, and make a change. Just start small, right? If you are struggling with identifying who you are, take a moment, like write down what do I love to, to do, what do I enjoy? Right. What’s something aspirational that I want to accomplish? Who do I want to be? All those questions we hear, who I don’t want to be in three years, you know, what are my values? All those things actually matter, and they sound fluffy and all this other stuff, but they matter because so many people are lost, because they’re lost within.
Jevon Wooden - 0:36:32
So we got to take that time to do that hard work, to dig down deep and to say, all right, let me learn myself. That was the hardest thing for me. And it’s going to be the hardest thing for whoever’s listening who’s going to take heed to this. But it’s so worth it because like you said, you and I, we, we live in service. But to do that, we had to discover ourselves first so that we can make an impact in our own way.
Gary Montalvo - 0:36:55
Yeah. And I think the other part to acknowledging that is that it takes, it also takes courage. It takes courage to have those conversations. It takes courage to say those things out loud. It’s takes courage to, you know, because for many of you, that could be wildly different from how you were raised from the path that you’re already on, you know, from like, I, I think of myself like I went, I spent a lot of years training to be art director, you know, went to, went to specialized art high school, went to specialized college, worked in the, you know, and as a graphic designer, art director for 15 years.
Gary Montalvo - 0:37:50
So there was like a very specific path. And it’s scary when you have to like, let go everything. I mean, that was part of my identity. It was, it was like, it was who, you know, I put it on like a badge and this is who I am. And yeah, you know, and I went to the school and here’s my resume and my, you know, like, it really was part of my identity and it took something to be willing to say, I’m letting all of that go, to step into something New.
Gary Montalvo - 0:38:22
To step into a new calling. So. And, And I’m not. I’m not saying that that’s what it’s going to take, like you changing careers or doing all that. But the point is that it takes courage to answer these calls sometimes and admit some of these things sometimes. Because the moment you admit them, well, now there’s like, what’s next? There’s the things that you have to do.
Jevon Wooden - 0:38:47
Right.
Gary Montalvo - 0:38:48
Yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:38:49
Game.
Gary Montalvo - 0:38:49
So. So don’t, you know, it’s easy to do. I don’t. I don’t want to give the impression that we’re just too. New leadership coaches sitting here. Oh, just go do it and be brave.
Jevon Wooden - 0:39:00
Like.
Gary Montalvo - 0:39:00
No, it takes something to do that. You know, it takes something.
Jevon Wooden - 0:39:03
Yeah, but that’s. I mean, I think that’s the point we’re making is, you know, there’s a range, right. That, that the change is going to fall on, but change is going to happen. So it’s really about. If you, if you do this work, then you will take actions that you may not have taken if you did not. Right. Because you know yourself and you know what matters to you. You know what doesn’t matter to you, which may be even more important. Important so that you can start aligning yourself with the people that you need to.
Jevon Wooden - 0:39:31
You start taking the actions that you need to. So whatever it is, it could be a small action, could be a large action, but whatever it is, it’s just reinventing you. So we have to be willing to do that, that introspection. But also, you know, at this point, it’s something that I have not stopped doing. You know, if we want to become better, like, it’s a, like I said, it’s a process. It’s a journey.
Jevon Wooden - 0:39:54
You know, it’s a process goal, as they call them, something that never ends. Or we’re going to do this until the end of life. I’m going to try to be better and try to discover more about myself in different ways. And that’s, to me, is a part of the joy of this thing called life is the discovery is we never know everything, including about us.
Gary Montalvo - 0:40:14
Yeah. And I think from a leadership perspective, for me, it’s a necessary component of having integrity in your leadership. Yes. You, You. You’re never done learning. You’re never done. You know, life is evolving and changing, so you’re gonna have to evolve and change to respond to, to, to it. You know, you, you look at. We didn’t have a pandemic before in our lifetimes. Now we have that right. And that, that required a transformation in many of us, and we’re still figuring out what it’s required in the aftermath of that. Right. Like, we’re still putting the pieces together. So part of you, I think, being in service and being in integrity with your leadership is constantly looking to see how can you grow, how can you evolve, what’s next? How did I do that? And not from a place of, like, what’s wrong? Not from a place of judgment, but from a place of, like, if you, if, if, if the goal is to be the best leader that you can possibly be, well, that requires constant analysis. You know, it requires constant introspection, as you said.
Jevon Wooden - 0:41:32
No, that’s, that’s so true. I mean, and the beauty of it all is not a solo journey. So you can get feedback.
Gary Montalvo - 0:41:37
Yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:41:38
So if you have people whose opinion you value, you have, if you have employees, you definitely should be getting feedback from them on how you could be a better leader, how you can support them better, how you can, you know, give them better communication. Communication so they can perform at a higher level. Whatever it is. Right. You get that feedback and it allows you to apply, you know, implement and be better.
Jevon Wooden - 0:41:59
That’s, to me, that’s invaluable. And that’s where a lot of people miss, they don’t ask, like, hey, so how do you see me? Right? How do you see me? Or what do you think are some of my, my greatest strengths? What do you think I can improve on? In the military, we call it an after action report. So you say, what went well? Where can we improve? And what do we need to just scrap? Because it did not go very well.
Gary Montalvo - 0:42:23
Yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:42:23
And that’s, it’s not from a standpoint of we suck, but it’s from a standpoint of the learning, the lessons that we’ve been talking about this whole conversation.
Gary Montalvo - 0:42:32
Yeah. Well, most of us are not trained. It’s difficult to do that if you’re not trained in not responding to the reaction to what you’re hearing. Right. Like, not having it mean something.
Jevon Wooden - 0:42:48
Personalizing.
Gary Montalvo - 0:42:50
Yeah. That takes a little practice. Right?
Jevon Wooden - 0:42:52
Yeah. That’s why I mean that. Again, we got that word practice, you said Gary. So if you think about that, if I know that I’m a person that I usually get on the defensive quickly, like, preface it by saying, listen, I know that I’m a person who can get defensive quickly. So I’m gonna need your help. I need you to hold me accountable a little bit. Tell me, you know, I, I, I want your feedback and input and how you See me.
Jevon Wooden - 0:43:16
But if you recognize that I start to get defensive, just let me know. Know, like, hey, you. You asked for this, right? We can stop if you want. You know, so you can preface it on how you want them to support you on that before you go full force.
Gary Montalvo - 0:43:30 Yeah, the. You know, the. The idea of practice is a really good sort of place to kind of land on, because I really believe at the end of the day, you’re just a set of practices. You know, we. We think that we are like, oh, I’m this way. I’m like, like, no, you’re just practiced at that. It’s not that that’s how you are. It’s just that that’s what you’re practiced. And I’m shy. No, you just practice at being shy. And you can develop other practices just like you develop that one. And, you know, the. If you look at all of the, you know, avoiding your practice at avoiding, you know, it’s just a practice. You’re. You’re. You’re. You’re practice at taking risks. So I really do want to invite people to look at it that way, because when you look at it that way, it frees you up and. To develop the practice. And. And when you’re developing a practice, you. You’re in a study of it. You’re. Okay. Whoa. I tried it this way. Oh, okay. That didn’t work as well. What if I tweak it this way? Because you’re. What you’re looking to do is. Is be. And that’s the point of the practice. Right? You’re. You’re. You’re analyzing, you’re tweaking. You’re going back your. But to Jevon’s point, do it for at least 90 days so that you can really see if.
Jevon Wooden - 0:44:55
Yeah, no, you. You’re hitting on something beautifully, Gary. It’s really like pattern recognition. Yeah. Like we say, like our behavioral patterns, you have tendencies, but that’s not. That doesn’t define you. Right. You can change, and people should change. Right? I know there’s some things that I’m working on changing my. Right. But I’ve identified the pattern. Whether I did it myself or someone said, hey, you know, you do this thing right, but you got to be open to it.
Jevon Wooden - 0:45:23
You have to be open to it if you’re going to change that pattern. And you can. You have agency over it. But that’s. That’s why I love what you just said about the practice. Right?
Gary Montalvo - 0:45:33
Yeah.
Jevon Wooden - 0:45:33
Identify the pattern. Admitted. And then, you know, take your. Take your action steps.
Gary Montalvo - 0:45:39
And I Have people that. That in my life. Life that. That I trust fully. And when they give me feedback, there are times that I don’t agree with it or there are times that I don’t see it. I’m like, I don’t see what you’re talking about.
Jevon Wooden - 0:45:55
Yeah. But. Because I trust them, and I trust their point of view, and I trust that they are for me. Right. I sit with it and I go explore. I said, I don’t see that. But let me. Let me. Let me look around. Around. Right. Let me. Let me be with that. Let me reflect on it. Let me see where I can find what you’re saying. And more often than not, when I go through that process, it starts to reveal itself, you know, or it starts to reveal how what they said, it’s relevant to me and what the value in what they said. So I think what.
Gary Montalvo - 0:46:36
I think that’s a really beautiful point as well.
Jevon Wooden - 0:46:39
I appreciate that. So true.
Gary Montalvo - 0:46:42
All right, my friend, this was lovely. We can go back and forth sharing leadership distinctions all day.
Jevon Wooden - 0:46:50
So, yeah, this is a conversation that could be had. We literally 24 hours and still have more to say.
Gary Montalvo - 0:46:57
Yeah. I always. I always love having other leadership coaches because I’m like, it kind of gives me the option to geek out a little bit and talk shop. So. So. But thank you so much for sharing your. Your story and opening up about your past and. And, you know, I think you. You just. You have a really beautiful way of demonstrating just being, you know, talking. Talking the walk, walking the talk, you know, practicing what you preach. And I think that. Yeah, yeah. And I. And I think that there’s a lot to be learned from the way that you just, you know, you’re in ownership of it all, and it’s a beautiful modeling of that. So I’m glad that you were able to come on the show.
Jevon Wooden - 0:47:48
Likewise, man. I appreciate you sharing space with me today as well. Really enjoyed this conversation. Had a lot of fun, and I hope the listeners got a lot of value.
Gary Montalvo - 0:47:58
Absolutely. We’ll put all your information on the show notes. Go follow Jevon. Go reach out to him. And stay in touch, brother.
Jevon Wooden - 0:48:09
Absolutely. Keep ascending, everyone.
Gary Montalvo - 0:48:13
As I think back on my conversation with Jevon, one thing stands out above all. The courage it takes to reflect deeply and honestly on your life. It’s not easy to look at your choices and ask tough questions that find force you to confront the role that you’ve played in your circumstances. But as Jevon showed us, that willingness to reflect and take responsibility is what opens the door for true transformation.
Gary Montalvo - 0:48:41
Jevon also refused to let his mistakes define him. Instead of falling into judgment or avoidance, he chose to see the lessons in his mistakes and use those lessons to build something greater. He demonstrated that reflection isn’t about shame. It’s about growth. It’s about looking into your mother’s eyes, seeing the pain that you’re causing her, and in that moment declaring, that’s not the man that I’m going to be.
Gary Montalvo - 0:49:09
And let’s be clear, it’s not enough to just sit with your thoughts. Jevon connected reflection with action. True ownership means turning those insights into intentional steps forward. Whether it’s shifting your mindset, building a new practice, or letting go of what no longer serves you, reflection without action becomes rumination. But when paired with action, it becomes the catalyst for real, powerful change.
Gary Montalvo - 0:49:39
So this week I want to invite you to develop a practice of reflection. My favorite way of doing this is actually scheduling a weekly or monthly date with myself. I like to use my three R’s framework, Reflect, Refocus, and Renew. I’ll make sure to include a link of the exercise in the show, but for now I’m just going to walk you through it so you have an idea of how it works. Number one Reflect Reflecting is about looking back.
Gary Montalvo - 0:50:07
Take a journal and take 10 to 15 minutes to think about the past week or month and ask yourself what went well? What are you proud of? What didn’t go as planned? What can you learn from those experiences? What role did you play in your success or in your setback? Use this time to journal your thoughts and see if you can be curious about your answers. Not critical this step is about understanding and not judging. Number two Refocus. Refocus is about assessing your priorities. Are your current actions aligned with your values and goals? What’s one area in your life where you’ve been stuck or avoiding action? What’s the next best step that you can take to move forward again?
Gary Montalvo - 0:50:57
Do some journaling.
Gary Montalvo - 0:50:58
Write down one or two priorities that you want to focus on for the next, next week or month. Think small. Intentional actions that feel manageable. And lastly, Renew. Renew is about committing to growth and your reflection by grounding yourself in something positive. What are you grateful for right now? What’s one practice or habit that you can embrace to support your growth? Who or what inspires you to keep moving forward?
Gary Montalvo - 0:51:26
This is where you can create a commitment statement that you can say out loud or write it down as a declaration. Developing this as a regular practice can be an absolute game changer for your personal growth and your leadership. It helps you build self awareness by identifying patterns in your behavior so you can make more intentional choices. It creates clarity giving you the space to focus on what truly matters and perhaps most importantly it keeps you aligned with your goals and values making sure that your daily actions are contributing to the life that you want to create.
Gary Montalvo - 0:52:06
Well that is our show for this week. If this conversation spoke to you, don’t forget to hit, follow or subscribe so that you never miss an episode of the Ownership Game and of course share it. Share it it with someone who needs to hear this. They might just be waiting for the push that this episode can give them. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and keep playing the Ownership game.
Jevon Wooden - 0:52:33
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Ownership Game with your host Gary Montalvo. Make sure to like and comment on. Your favorite podcast platform as well as. Subscribe so that you never miss an episode.